Jun 17, 2012

Let them KNOW

(Daddy reflects)

Today's the all-important day for all Daddies. And though it generally pales in significance as compared to Mother's Day, I am not terribly sore about it. 

Because admit it - at some point in our lives, all of us did feel that our Daddies were the dumbest creatures on the face of this planet. Okay, maybe some spouses do fall into that category but let's not digress. We felt that our Daddies didn't know anything. They didn't understand anything either. Their sole purpose in life was to just say 'NO!' to whatever we want to do. That, and also to go about slogging hard for the family and making sure we know darn well that it was their hard-earned money that we are spending.

But don't get me wrong. I love my Daddy. I know he had worked very hard for the family, that he had always tried the best within his means to give my sister and I what we had wanted and of course, loved us wholeheartedly. It's just that he isn't one who is very forthcoming with praises and he sure wasn't the one I would run to when I am facing problems.

And since I have become a Daddy myself, I told myself that I would take after all his good points and improve on whatever I felt was lacking. Of course, I am by no means the perfect Daddy. Far from it, actually.

Because one aspect I had tried to improve on was the gifting of praises to my monkies. But I am human. And humans are quick to point out the wrongs that someone has committed. It's so much easier to criticise when one falls short, isn't it? 

On the other hand, it's much harder to praise for good behaviour. Simply because we have such high expectations of our own kids. Good behaviour is the baseline. That is expected of them. Why praise something that is expected?

So I think back to the time when I was a child. Yearning for praise from my own Daddy was something that stood out like a sore thumb for me. And I realized I didn't want my own monkies to feel the same way too.

Of course, I do find myself getting aggravated at them for the most minor infractions sometimes - whether they are quibbling or just being tiny irritants, complete with that nerve-wrecking buzzing near my ears that just simply wouldn't bug off. But luckily, I have a great wife and she is the one who has consistently reminded me to see the good among the bad (atrocity is more like it) in them.

So now I try to spend a little more time praising and a lot less time criticizing. I've tried, but my final report card is still pending. 

On this Father's Day, I do hope all the Daddies out there would let their kids know that you are proud of them. Go on, do it now. Hug them, and tell them that you will always be there no matter what. Even if there isn't a Father's Day gift.

 Photo courtesy of http://www.sncf.org.sg

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! :)


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8 comments :

ClearTear said...

Hello, i visit ur blog from a fren recommendation on a topic. very nice blogs and i will visit often too!

Happy fathers day to you! :D

i think nowadays a lot of daddies are very hands on, like my hubby. So i think you are great!

Cheekiemonkies said...

Hi ClearTear,

Thanks for dropping by our blog, and also for your kind words! :)

Hope you will find the nuggets of information in our blog useful!

ClearTear said...

hello!! it is very useful, esp the activities you plan for your kids. really admired the hard work. I have a daughter myself, and reading about your girl tickles me. I love girls and i always enjoy my girl bullying my hubby in a funny way la haha.

Cheekiemonkies said...

Thanks! Yes, fathers always succumb to daughters!

ClearTear said...

Kelvin, some advise pls!? When u bring ur kiddos out, do you worry about their naps? Cos i always either go out morning to 2pm, cos after that she need to nap. Or go out after her nap. Cos she seems to not able to nap outside...

ClearTear said...

Kelvin, some advise pls!? When u bring ur kiddos out, do you worry about their naps? Cos i always either go out morning to 2pm, cos after that she need to nap. Or go out after her nap. Cos she seems to not able to nap outside...

Cheekiemonkies said...

We used to, when we just have our first-born. So I can totally understand how you feel.

When we had Ash, we would plan our activities according to his nap times. Which is rather restrictive cos he used to take 1 nap in the morning and another 1 in the afternoon.

Now after 3 kids, we can't be bothered anymore. Haha... Ale would just have to adapt to our routine. And actually, you would be surprised how easily kids can adapt.

Perhaps the first few outings might be tough, but I believe they will be able to get used to it eventually. :)

ClearTear said...

So you mean she will just sleep wherever you guys go??

BTW can you share with me how many days you extending your friso trip and where you going? hehee im most likely going with you guys leh.

ivylock@yahoo.com

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