As parents, we are guilty of saying some pretty stupid things. After all, how many times have you threatened to call the police on your kids, scared them into submission by using that security guard downstairs, or tried to get them to behave at a restaurant by saying that the waitress was watching?
As if the waitress actually wields some sort of power, and the superhuman ability to make your child sit still obediently. If she did, I will be first in line to bring my kids to her. So that is the best we can come up with? The waitress, security guard or police? Personally I would be more scared of the guy in the kitchen holding that chopper.
Anyway, you get my point. We parents ALL say some of the strangest things to our kids and a lot of it is used as a last resort, when all else fails. That, or a pretty effective quick-fix solution.
"If you eat too much candy, later the ants come and find you.”
I don’t know why I said the ants were going to look for my daughter a few nights ago. She was in one of her candy-bingeing moods and couldn’t stop no matter what the wife and I said and did. I took the candy away from her and a crying fit soon ensued. The ants ruse did not work so I then caught myself using the line about the police coming to handcuff her.
Of course it came to naught (again) and I was stuck with a screaming three year old for another twenty minutes… until we negotiated. She was going to have 2 final pieces and that was it – no more candy for the next 2 days. And it worked. She stopped crying and everyone lived happily after.
But you know what happened later that night?
Yes, nothing. No ants came looking for her – I knew because I checked, just in case. Just like the guys in blue never came to our home and the waitress at the restaurant couldn’t care less that someone’s kid is bawling away.
At the end of the day, we are basically lying to our kids and setting a bad example to our children. Because if we keep doing that, we all know what is going to happen wouldn’t we?
That’s right, our noses are going to grow longer and longer… just like Pinocchio.
What other lies have you used on your children?
This article first appeared on Maybe Baby Singapore, as part of my monthly contributions to the website.