For a change, the wifey pens her thoughts. :)
Recently, I read with some level of sadness that Selina - 1/3 part of the SHE girl band - was undergoing separation from her hubby; the one who stood by her in her painful journey of recovery when she was badly burnt in the filming accident. The reason cited was different perspective of life, and they would be happier as friends rather than spouses.
I’m not a fan of the girl band, but was wondering if it’s that marriage vows are taken too lightly now and people give up on it too easily? Or that we enter into marriage with a fairy-tale notion of how married life would be like and the after married life not matching up to the illusion?
Today is the 13th year I’m Mrs Ang, so how much has changed since I signed on the dotted line? Has it matched my dream of what married life is like – especially for one bred on romantic novels, rom-com and Korean/Taiwanese dramas?
Let’s start from the very beginning.
What had attracted me to him in the first place? Allow me to be shallow, I was attracted by his broad shoulders, firm handgrip and handsome face. As they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder and love is blind (haha), nothing much has changed – I still find him handsome and his shoulders have grown even broader, with fats or muscles, that’s another story. Oops. What matters is the inside, not the form right… these broad shoulders have carried the 3 monkies during our various travels, together with their prams and luggages at a go.
Another quality that attracted me was his decisiveness, while I’m on the other end on the spectrum, I’m lazy to think of what to eat and where to go. So, in our courting days, he planned out everything and that to me was “wow”. That still remains unchanged, he condones my mental laziness – every morning, I sit in the car and he would whisk me off to places to eat breakfast. He allows me to sleep and when I open my eyes, I’m magically at a breakfast spot. Same for dinner and travel plans. To the extent that my colleagues gave up asking me on places I’m going to visit before I embark on my trip. Actually I like the element of surprise of not knowing my itinerary, thanks for spoiling me in that way. The only time his decisiveness does not work in my favour is when I’m shopping; he would decisively tell me that I have something in this pattern/colour or print.
Like the past, he always puts me, and now us, in the first place. When we were courting, he would always made sure that I walked in the inner pavement, and sends me back from dates though I stayed in the north while he stays in the far west. He would even meet me at Orchard in the morning, to ride the bus with me to my office. Now, I chide him for always walking ahead of us. He takes it quietly but I know it is because he wants to check out the route ahead so that we need not walk unnecessarily.
Knowing that I’m tired after a long day of work and the MRT is crazy crowded and I’ll be smelling armpits because of my height, he never fails to chauffer me to and fro work, or from my night out with friends.
Dating days, he was actually quite a romantic. He hides flowers in the car boot and surprises me with it – yes, just like the males romantic protagonist in the Korean/Taiwan dramas that I watch. Now, although the flowers have dried up (:P) but in very practical ways, he shows his romantic side. He accompanies me on the sofa when I work late, he lets me sleep in and wakes up to prepare breakfast for the kids, buys me the food when we’re at the hawker centre while I presumably chope place while catching up on my drama serials (one only need to know how empty the hawker centres are at 7am in the morning, to know that he is indulging me… haha), does the grocery runs, buys me my liang teh and stool softener when I app him while on the throne that I failed again, cooks dinner for the family even though he is more tired than me.
Recollecting on what he had done for me, I’m very glad I signed on the dotted line 13 years ago. I count my blessings that he is mine. Inevitably, with the pressure of work and children, things won’t be as sweet as paktor days but I just need to switch my perspective to know that, in many ways, he is still the same man who loved me the past 17 years, just that the expressions of love come in different forms. In fact, I like version 13 Mr Ang better!
Thanks for sweeping me off my feet 17 years ago, Dearrie. Happy Anniversary and here's to many more to come!