Jul 19, 2013

Failing the Class

There are times when I am not always proud of the parent that I am.

My kids can be tough to deal with sometimes. I know that being a parent is not always all things rosy, but it seems too much of the time is spent in disagreements over TV/iPad time or simply what clothes to wear. The screaming matches, the use of threatening words... the frustration does boil over at times and when it comes out, it just comes out.

Sometimes I just wish I could erase these chunks of time from my life. On the contrary, it seems lately that I am remembering too many of those moments though.

I don't want them to think that I am some sort of monster.

They really are the best kids I could possibly have.

But as much as I hate to admit it - I yell, and I yell way too much.

Truth is, I just can't think of anything else to do at that point in time. I do know that yelling is not the best course of action because that is only going to make the situation worse. Picture a six year old who has just been told that his TV time quota has been cut, he is frustrated and angry already, and then throw in a parent screaming at the top of his lungs.  If I were him, I surely would not like it and I would probably scream and cry a little louder. That in turn makes me scream a little louder, which makes everything that much worse. Funny little vicious cycle, no?

It's like they are great kids 99% of the time, but too often I'm only remembering that other 1%.

And then I came across this brilliant article - The Important Thing About Yelling.

Go on and read it. It will be well worth your time. For me, I identified with the author tremendously. My yelling was a result of my distractions.

"Excessive phone use, commitment overload, multiple page to-do lists, and the pursuit of perfection consumed me. And yelling at the people I loved was a direct result of the loss of control I was feeling in my life."

But the good news is, it is still not too late.

I am constantly learning how to be a better parent, even though sometimes it may seem like I am failing the class.

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