Yep, today officially marks a major milestone of my life.
The morning started off smoothly enough; I was excited to slip into my school uniform, carry my bag and sling my water bottle. All done with a beaming smile.
When I got to class, I zoomed in to the table with the most toys and started playing with them almost immediately.
Then as the class started getting crowded, the classroom sounded like a crying madhouse inevitably. Many of the other kids were crying their heads off, but all these while I still went about my own activities. Mainly 'cos I know Daddy was still in the classroom with me lah. Hee.
Then Daddy decided to be naughty lor... he crept out of the classroom. So when I turned around to check if Daddy was still there, horror of horrors! He was gone! I think with all the crying and wailing that was going on in the room, it kind of affected me too. So yup, I wailed too. :(
I hurriedly scurried to the door to try to open the door to look for Daddy but the teachers didn't allow. So I just continued my crying... All these while, Daddy & Mummy were hiding in some corner and on hearing my wails, I think Mummy teared too. So she asked Daddy to go back into the classroom and sit in with me.
With Daddy back in class, I was in a good mood once again. I even had an extra helping of bread and milo during makan time! Hee hee...
Actually I just wanted Daddy to just sit somewhere at the back of the class lah, so that whenever i turn my head, I know he's there. So it was no surprise that I enjoyed my first day of school after that. I sang, clapped, danced... a girl even held my hand to dance leh! :P
After school, it was a major physco-ing session with Ma-ma and Ku-jie. 'Cos from tomorrow onwards, parents are not allowed to enter the classroom liao... so hopefully I won't cry. Much.
Anyway, like Daddy said... there maybe will come a time when I will not like Daddy to send or fetch me from school anymore. Maybe I'll tell him next time, " Daddy, can go back already lah... my friends all seeing leh, so paiseh... go lah, nothing will happen wan lah... bye!"
The mummy muses:
Somethings never change... 25 years ago, when I was a wee little girl of five, I cried on my first day of school and according to my mum, for the whole year in fact! And I did it again today... sigh, at my son's first day of school. I'm a leaking tap I know (not only a tap but a leaking one!)
Ash was the first to arrive in school. Subsequently, one parent came in, put their boy in class and left. The boy was left in his seat, sobbing and repeatedly calling out for his parents under his breath. The helplessness I saw in his eyes made my heart ache, and at that point, I knew I would probably need a "plumber" for the running tap of mine :P
Seeing Ash's face plastered on the glass door and him sobbing and calling for us when we left the room, boy, that was heart-wrenching.
Many thoughts crossed my mind then; whether he was too young for school still, whether he felt the same sense of helplessness the boy felt, whether he thinks we were abandoning him (though we had psychoed him many times on school), should we just leave him to cry and not re-enter the room, would that make him so fearful of school or by re-entering, he would expect us to be there everyday etc. Eventually, we came to the decision that we would let him feel at ease for the first day so as not to create any phobia of school.
With his papa in the room, Ash resumed his usual self, playing with other kiddos, joining in the song and dance and story-telling. He even hugged a girl!! That kind of consoled me; I think Ash should be able to adapt to school after the initial separation anxiety period.
This episode struck me that really, nothing beats the love a parent has for their child. Seeing your own child, or even another kid's distress is really quite unbearable. Unreasonably, I thought to myself, why can't more teachers be sent to the class to comfort the kids? (to be fair to them, there were already four teachers to the class of 14, any more and there would be no space to move..hee).
One silver lining though; ash called for his papa in his most distressed state. No, I don't feel upset that he didn't call for me. For me, it suffices to know that all the efforts Kel had put into caring for Ash - lulling him to sleep when he's young, bathing him, toileting him, even waiting (Kel's most "hated" activity) for an hour in the queue so that his sonny can watch the christmas shows, and getting himself hot and sweaty (he hates being sweaty too.. haha) during all the outdoor excursions I suggested for the family to go - had paid off :)
Just last night, I asked ash who his favourite person was, he replied "papa". Guess this was reaffirmed this morning at school :) (Don't be too happy, daddy, I'm sure I'm ayd's fav person... hee)
Time to hit the sack and get ready for another day in school tomorrow. This time round I'm going to stay in the car while Kel drops him off and LEAVE.
(I cannot believe the "sleep within 1 minute of hitting the pillow" me is suffering from sleeplessness cos of anxiety over ash's reaction on his second day of school. Geez, looks like the mum is more traumatised than the kiddo who is sleeping real soundly :P)